I've been thinking a lot about life recently, and I've realised that the majority of bad decisions I've made have come from a lack of trust and confidence in myself and my emotions, with too much focus on the perceptions of others rather than being honest with myself.
Throughout our lives, and as we grow, the focus on us and what makes us happy becomes less important. Society teaches us to value other people's opinion more than our own and people end up caring more about how they will be perceived for feeling a certain way rather than being true to themselves and being honest with themselves about what it is that they want.
Of course, it can go the other way- selfishness is a vice we all partake in at times and to think of ones happiness over others isn't necessarily a good thing. I personally feel that putting others before yourself is always a positive way to live life, but not if by doing this you put yourself in situations that you don't want to be in. That's where the problem lies. When people don't trust themselves and aren't honest about how they feel, I feel that ultimately it can only lead to unhappiness.
If you feel something for someone, allow yourself to feel that way. And if you don't, be honest about it because lying to protect another's feelings will only be detrimental in the end. Rip the band aid, per sé and just be true to yourself.
In essence, all of this is a kind of miscommunication and suppression of ones emotions., I feel like there are so many people who are missing out on true happiness because they feel as though the pressure to conform to society is stronger than their desire to pursue their own happiness. People who equate fitting in and conforming with happiness are being dishonest with themselves and, well- honesty is the best policy (cheese!)
Anyway. I guess after having thought about this stuff recently I just wanted to put it out there for anyone else stuck in a battle between what they "should" feel and how they actually do. Don't waste your time worrying about fitting in, remember that when it comes down to it, we are in charge of creating our own happiness.
Neela x